I am ready to switch it all off….
The other night my phone decided to jump in the bath with me…. (ok I may have knocked it in but whatever)... I lost everything.
The back-up wasn’t working in my old phone and after several updates it appeared to clear years of contacts, work, photos….
I was devastated, all those moments gone.
People just disappeared as if they never existed… and it's really got me thinking about how we spend our time or certainly how I have been spending mine.
My whole life is in whatsapp… every single area….
Work - business, clients, contacts...
Kids stuff - school, football, Christmas…
Personal - My family, friends and any other special person I have met along the way.
But what this means is… it doesn’t stop.
From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed… there is always something going off…
I have no notifications on anything, all social media is muted, my text notifications will flash up but nothing sits there, because it would be too much.
Currently as I write this… I have:
43 whatsapps unread
194 text messages
This is without Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, emails….
Not everyone of those people deserves my time…
Time is a commodity we just don’t get back…
And yet I am spending more and more time feeling the pressure of the messages that are unanswered…
Because I simply cannot give to all, in the way I would like.
Or the fact someone I want to talk to too has reached out and I've missed it within the madness… simply drowned out by others.
The thing is, it's not that I don’t value the connection but I feel that for me, it's a double edged sword.
I am reaching more and more people and connecting with people all around the world and that is amazing…
But the people I value the most, I am not connecting with the way I want.
I want to see their face, hear their voice and their laugh… I want to see their eyes light up as they smile. I miss that connection… (and I miss cuddles!!)
I feel it's all too easy to hide behind a message (and this is coming from someone who spent years doing exactly that).
I need down time and I am happy for those moments on my own…
But this year has taught me that giving to everyone online is taking away my relationships offline.
And I know in these times...
I am so very grateful for the online tools have allowed us to stay connected.
The zoom quizzes, the house party games….
It allowed us connection in the only way we could, and I am grateful for that.
But I have to be honest with myself… how often have I sent a holding message, just so I've connected?
It's about getting the balance right, and right now I need to work harder to get it right.
About a month ago someone said to me:
‘An opportunity today, may not be an opportunity tomorrow’
And it hit me… it was in business, but I have thought about it every single day.
In all areas of my life…
We take for granted we will always have the time to do the things we want… but tomorrow is never guaranteed.
The day you decide you are ready, the day you decide to make the call might just be the day, no one is there to answer...