So here goes… 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘀.
What a load of crap it is…
Sorry but that Disney romance you are aiming for.. doesn’t exist.
It's not all roses and butterflies… it's not all holding hands walking along the coast…
It's real, it's hard, it's easy, it's pain, it's pleasure….
It's all the things…
What a contradictory load of b*llocks….
I did the work before I got into a relationship…
I've had a heavy past…
I have had to heal from abuse, from not feeling good enough or feeling lovable.
I dated a little
I was confident
I knew exactly who I was….
I wasn’t interested in a relationship…
It didn’t fit into my life.
Into my plans…
Me and the kids have been through a lot…
It was just us 3, build the business, the home… 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢.
We were good.
And then I swiped right.
And well here we are…
I dunno over a year and a half later.
I know it's serious….
Because he annoys the heck out of me and I love him so much for it.
But you want to know the real reason it sucks…
Because it's not easy…
I finally feel safe…
Well as it turns out, that in itself, 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗔𝗙.
Oh hold on… he really loves me…. 𝗔𝗿𝗿𝗿𝗿𝗴𝗵𝗵𝗵 𝗰𝘂𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗰 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲.
Oh crap… I really love him…. 𝗦𝗼𝗱. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀. 𝗦𝗵*𝘁.
I learnt how to be the best version of myself…. single.
I was not prepared for what being in a relationship was going to bring up.
It's different when you are face to face with someone, you know, would literally die for you if he had to.
You push away, you pull in… they do the same.
But underneath you know you are safe…
And all the old wounds that resurface are ready to be healed.
And for the first time, you don’t need to hide parts of you…
It's not about accepting someone at their worst…
It's about two people, with real feelings and real baggage…
Feeling safe enough to bring it to the table to heal from it… with the support of each other.
It's not easy…
But loving him is.
And having fun with him is.
And it's those things that make the harder stuff easier to deal with…
Because for the first time… instead of looking at the other person…
I am looking at myself and healing what I need to so I can allow love in fully.
And yeah… as I said … it sucks ;)
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