I was watching Tony Robbins “I’m not your Guru” the other day and I got so emotional. I have seen it before but this time something hit me.
It was the scene with Dawn Watson, her story was incredibly heart-breaking and inspiring. She was born into an American religious cult known as Children of God where they believed that one of the main ways to spread the love of God was through sex. From the age of 6, Dawn was required to have sex with other members of the cult, the pain not only physically but emotionally is beyond what most of us can even imagine.
As I listened, Tony was talking to her about her strength and the gift she has for helping others and as he gave her the biggest hug you knew she felt safe. Her emotions rose to the surface and all the heartache she felt could be seen.
It made me think about when I first told my story. It was something I never imagined doing, let alone to a room of 1000 people. I was so used to hiding my shameful secret and then suddenly, I found myself on a different path, one driven by the need to give others hope. It was the driving force for how my career began. I didn’t want people to feel like they had to keep suffering for choices others made for them. The pain and confusion left from abuse, you know it's not right, logically you know you weren’t at fault but yet you blame yourself anyway. Questioning whether or not you are worthy of a kind love. What even is kind love?
I know the feeling of being lost and feeling out of control… and the day I stood on stage and told my story was the day I took back control. I did it in bare feet and I have written an amazing post about it that you can read here if you like.
But what hit me the other day… hit me hard.
See I talk about the moment I walked off the stage after my talk. I had so many people coming up to me, holding me, telling me stories they had never told anyone. Some not even saying a word but the way they held onto me I could feel their pain, and I could feel the relief they had. Like I had given them hope. I felt them relax as they let it out…
It was so powerful.
Those moments have always stayed with me. And still, to this day I get people messaging to tell me how far they have come from that day.
What I didn’t realise… was that it was me that needed the hugs too.
It's taken nearly 7 years for that to register for me.
I know I do what I do because I know what it's like to struggle, to feel lost and powerless, and I honestly believe we all deserve to be successful, to be loved and to be happy. I know my mission has been to help those find their path, just like I found mine.
But what I didn’t know was how much I needed those hugs too. An embrace that felt so warm and comforting it can only be translated into a feeling of pure love and acceptance.
In my industry, people talk about how we help others in the areas we either need to be helped in or in the areas we have healed from. And it got me thinking about the clients I have worked with…
A big challenge I often come across is that of people pleasing, doing so much for others rather than doing the thing we need for ourselves.
So I want you to think about how you show up in other's lives, how you help them and then I want you to ask yourself…
“Am I giving others what I really need for myself?”
This could be advice or actions… whatever it is… ask yourself if it is something you would benefit from if you applied it in your own life.
And just like me, is it you that really needs that ‘cuddle?’
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