Ask yourself these questions:
Do you know your worth?
Is loving yourself selfish?
If it's self-worth, do other things matter?
These things come up time and time again when a client is struggling with self worth but do you even know what it means? According to UNC, self-worth is the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others.
This does not mean you have to rely on others in order to value yourself. It means that you love who you are even if you have made mistakes. You accept who you are, the good and the bad.
So how do you know if you have a high or low self-worth? Id like you to answer these questions… and by all means if you would like please share them with me.
How would you describe yourself to me?
What do you like about yourself?
What parts of yourself do you value?
If you are able to answer with ease, and the answers are generally positive, then you have a high sense of who you are. On the other hand, if you struggle with answering those questions and all that you were getting were negative thoughts and answers, then it's likely you may be struggling with your self-worth.
Self-worth comes from within… hence the word self! Your perception about yourself will reflect in how you treat yourself. Others' perceptions do not really matter as much as your own and yet we often look outside ourselves for approval and acceptance but the truth is how you treat yourself will reflect in how you allow others to treat you.
Here are 5 things that don’t determine your self-worth:
1. Your social media following:
This is so important if you are really active on social media. The number of likes and followers should not determine your self-worth. Because social media is just one aspect of life and it is usually the highlight reel. There are people who have a lot of followers and still feel lonely and have no one around them in person, yet they are loved on social media. And those who have very little online and a full and happy life off of it.
2. Your job:
People tend to feel worthless depending on their role in society. You don’t always have to be a big entrepreneur and still feel like a boss. What matters is that you love what you are doing.
3. Your appearance:
Every person has a different body type, different hair color, and even a different shoe size. There will always be someone taller, shorter, thinner, fatter...Beauty is subjective. There is no reason to compare because everyone is unique, accept who you are.
4. The amount of friends you have:
Finding the right circle of friends is better than having loads of people around you who haven't got your back. Genuine friendship will boost your self-worth and will support you in the times that you need.
5. Other people:
This is a big one. OTHERS WILL NOT DETERMINE YOUR WORTH. It is from within. It's all on you. You will determine how you feel about yourself.
The best thing you can do is to find joy in all aspects of your life. Do the things you really want and will make you happy. It will reflect from within. If you feel good about yourself, it will boost how much value you have for yourself.
This may not be something that is a quick fix but building your self worth will change you, it starts with you and every day you make that commitment to yourself, everyday you choose you, you will start to feel better. Those small shifts will make the biggest difference in how you feel and every step you take is a step to accepting and loving who you are.
And if you need help, book a free discovery call and see how I can help you.